Sometimes it just "clicks"

I have been feeling so selfish lately. I think the "Christian" life was so much easier for me as a teenager & young adult because there were less responsibilities and there was time to just focus on "me." Any time I was feeling down, I could get alone & spend time with God, go to a corporate worship service, join a Bible study, spend hours chatting with a friend; whatever I needed, me was my only responsibility.

Now, when I am feeling down, the show must go on. My kids must be fed. And played with. And bathed. And loved on. Even when I'm feeling like having some quiet moments--and I try to insist on them--it fails...and sometimes I turn into a monster trying to insist upon them. I have to do my work. Fix dinner. Serve my husband. Etc, etc, etc. There's no time to just focus on regaining my focus. No time to get away long enough to get a new perspective.

So I have to really cling to the things that work. I cling to the time I spend with my husband. And if we're in a "rough patch," that makes life super-tough. (Praise GOD we're in a FABULOUS patch right now!!) I cling to a few moments of Bible &/or devotional reading at night. I cling to sneaking peaks at my babies while they're sleeping for a refreshing of my mind at what they look like when they're peaceful :) I put up scripture to read.

And sometimes I forget to do these things or I don't forget & I still lose perspective. I get selfish & don't enjoy life or my kids or my husband. I try. But I don't do it selflessly.

And then out of nowhere God reveals Himself in a new way & it clicks. Last night I was at the Hillsong United concert & they played a video that had pictures and a scripture verse & I got the wake-up that I needed. Just a simple reminder of what love is. Now I'm gonna have to paste this all over my house to keep it in my head : )

1 Corinthians 13

Love

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.