Isaac was born a week & a half ago now & already my life has been turned completely upside down. Everything that was "normal" is no more. It is so strange to consider that! I've been wanting to find a few minutes to blog about everything but there has been NO time, what with having to hold Isaac every moment I can find & things such as that ;o)
Yesterday Mom & Dad took Neena to AL with them--they're shooting for her to stay for a week! Oohhh, the pain! I have been in a crazy whirlwind of emotions since Isaac arrived...the reality of Neena growing up has become too real! I am okay with little mister even though he had to go & grow out of his newborn size clothes already :(
When we took him to the Dr on Tue (5 days after he was born) he had gained 7 oz. The doc came in & said, "Has your milk come in yet?" so I'm thinking they have reason to suspect it hasn't, but at that point I was still fighting engorgement so, oh goodness, yes, I had TONS of milk! "Because normally breastfed babies haven't gained any weight at this point" she finished. Yep. That's my boy! :) BUT......
So sad to grow up so fast!
On the other hand...gaining weight is a GREAT sign that CF (we're both carriers) is not in his genes. AND the fact that the boy doesn't spit up. He just eats, sometimes burps, & is pretty much always happy. When he's not he will surely let you know, though, but I can usually figure out what the problem is. Thank you Lord, for such a sweet baby!
I did have a moment the other night when fear kinda took over for a moment. He is super grunty & snorty--it's really cute--but the first night I heard it, automatically I go "CF" in my head. And the list of life changes & health problems start hanging around my head, messing with my thoughts & completely clouding my vision. It also happened to be the first night I got all emotional about Neena growing up. Oh man, I was a wreck. I needed a new perspective and fast!
The next night my devotional was basically about remembering what loving Jesus and serving Him means & how it's NOT about our actions but about getting closer to Jesus by the things we do. It was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. It's not about me or about my babies--it's about Jesus and pointing them to Him. I'd been trying to hang on too tight to every minute & grieve over the time that was gone AND question every decision I had made. I felt like the time Neena has had with me--birth up till the current moment--was stolen from me & I was completely torn up over it. That may sound totally ridiculous but I kid you not, I was in a really bad place over it!!! Just another reminder that if you don't know Jesus or the peace that He offers, let me tell you, I don't know how you can stomach this world that's full of heartbreak, unanswered questions, & despair. When I consider how tough things get & get lost in that, spending a few minutes or a day without seeing life from an eternal perspective--living every moment in the grace & peace of Jesus--I really don't know how anyone can make it in this life without a relationship with Jesus.
So, like I said...emotional week & a half!
And while I am still broken-hearted about my baby GIRL becoming a CHILD--4 & a half years old, people--I am going to take a moment to brag on her & hope I don't drown the computer while I think about her :)
~~
She's learning her cartwheel right now. She started learning it a couple months into gymnastics but it started out as a glorified, 1-handed somersault. Now she can actually turn sideways & get a decent start but of course her hegs don't end up in the right place & she doesn't land on her feet. But it's adorable & she's extremely proud of it!
~~
The other day her preschool teachers told me about her taking a little boy who has some sort of mental disability around the playground with her & then she led him to bow & pray with her. No idea what they were praying about but oh my goodness...I cried when the teachers told me; they were almost in tears too :) Love those girls; they are pure angels! And love my sweet Neena.
~~
One thing I have been sad about with her is that I have been such a disciplinarian & haven't played with her with my whole heart enough...
(Side note: Not that I shouldn't be a disciplinarian but I have felt guilty to spoil her at all...I was so worried about only-child (spoiled brat) syndrome that I have hardly spoiled her at all! I have allowed others to but haven't myself. So now I feel more freedom to spoil both my kids a little for 2 reasons. #1 because I haven't done so with Neena & I'm her mom; if I'm gonna let anyone spoil her a little, I should be at the top of the list! And #2 I feel freedom to spoil them b/c with a sibling, neither child gets to feel like they're the center of the universe; only-child syndrome is not a possibility!)
...Being pregnant only made that tougher, too! This is something I have renewed vision for & am going to allot more time for during the day. Her favorite things to play right now are:
**Being a waitress at McDonalds, taking orders & bringing food
**Playing with her pet shop pets, Cinderella action figures, Nativity people, and blocks. They all join in together & we make rooms for them with the blocks :) Super fun.
**She loves barbies & her barbie house.
**She pretends to be "Kayla" & I'm "Christina" & she comes to paint my house. I have to call her & ask her to come over to work. She has a husband, John (used to be Gary), that she talks about who also works at Revolution with my husband, Chad. :) Very cute. She also uses a silly accent!
**She plays Chad's mandolin. She puts the strap around her neck & can strum pretty well! She looks like she's playing bass for a rocker band b/c of how low it hangs down, lol. She & Chad play together & have concerts for us! :) One of these days, I will get a video for you...
**She plays with her monkey that Amber got her from Build-a-Bear. It's name is Lollipop & it's her sister. NOT her baby. Lollipop goes EVERYWHERE with us. It's especially great at the mall; I let her bring her toy stroller & push her around. It is the answer to keeping her near me; without something to occupy her, she's all OVER the place!
~~
She is quick to make mistakes & messes but even quicker to apologize. Most of the time. She has enough independence to feel like she should be able to make her own decisions. It's tough for both of us but I've realized lately I need to let her make more decisions & praise her a lot for when she makes the right ones. She is a good girl & she's got heart. (She's got a lot of spunk & drama, too, though!)
~~
After she left yesterday, I called Mom to ask them to call me if they stopped to eat so I could have a new ETA. They'd only been gone a few minutes & Neena wanted to talk to me. :) I needed that.
Well...Chad is at work for the entire day, so it's just me & Isaac! It's so quiet! I'm not quite sure what to do with myself :) I'll find a chance to steal Chad's computer & share some pics soon. I think I'm going to try to get a few things done...Or go snuggle this baby boy :)
Yesterday Mom & Dad took Neena to AL with them--they're shooting for her to stay for a week! Oohhh, the pain! I have been in a crazy whirlwind of emotions since Isaac arrived...the reality of Neena growing up has become too real! I am okay with little mister even though he had to go & grow out of his newborn size clothes already :(
When we took him to the Dr on Tue (5 days after he was born) he had gained 7 oz. The doc came in & said, "Has your milk come in yet?" so I'm thinking they have reason to suspect it hasn't, but at that point I was still fighting engorgement so, oh goodness, yes, I had TONS of milk! "Because normally breastfed babies haven't gained any weight at this point" she finished. Yep. That's my boy! :) BUT......
So sad to grow up so fast!
On the other hand...gaining weight is a GREAT sign that CF (we're both carriers) is not in his genes. AND the fact that the boy doesn't spit up. He just eats, sometimes burps, & is pretty much always happy. When he's not he will surely let you know, though, but I can usually figure out what the problem is. Thank you Lord, for such a sweet baby!
I did have a moment the other night when fear kinda took over for a moment. He is super grunty & snorty--it's really cute--but the first night I heard it, automatically I go "CF" in my head. And the list of life changes & health problems start hanging around my head, messing with my thoughts & completely clouding my vision. It also happened to be the first night I got all emotional about Neena growing up. Oh man, I was a wreck. I needed a new perspective and fast!
The next night my devotional was basically about remembering what loving Jesus and serving Him means & how it's NOT about our actions but about getting closer to Jesus by the things we do. It was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. It's not about me or about my babies--it's about Jesus and pointing them to Him. I'd been trying to hang on too tight to every minute & grieve over the time that was gone AND question every decision I had made. I felt like the time Neena has had with me--birth up till the current moment--was stolen from me & I was completely torn up over it. That may sound totally ridiculous but I kid you not, I was in a really bad place over it!!! Just another reminder that if you don't know Jesus or the peace that He offers, let me tell you, I don't know how you can stomach this world that's full of heartbreak, unanswered questions, & despair. When I consider how tough things get & get lost in that, spending a few minutes or a day without seeing life from an eternal perspective--living every moment in the grace & peace of Jesus--I really don't know how anyone can make it in this life without a relationship with Jesus.
So, like I said...emotional week & a half!
And while I am still broken-hearted about my baby GIRL becoming a CHILD--4 & a half years old, people--I am going to take a moment to brag on her & hope I don't drown the computer while I think about her :)
~~
She's learning her cartwheel right now. She started learning it a couple months into gymnastics but it started out as a glorified, 1-handed somersault. Now she can actually turn sideways & get a decent start but of course her hegs don't end up in the right place & she doesn't land on her feet. But it's adorable & she's extremely proud of it!
~~
The other day her preschool teachers told me about her taking a little boy who has some sort of mental disability around the playground with her & then she led him to bow & pray with her. No idea what they were praying about but oh my goodness...I cried when the teachers told me; they were almost in tears too :) Love those girls; they are pure angels! And love my sweet Neena.
~~
One thing I have been sad about with her is that I have been such a disciplinarian & haven't played with her with my whole heart enough...
(Side note: Not that I shouldn't be a disciplinarian but I have felt guilty to spoil her at all...I was so worried about only-child (spoiled brat) syndrome that I have hardly spoiled her at all! I have allowed others to but haven't myself. So now I feel more freedom to spoil both my kids a little for 2 reasons. #1 because I haven't done so with Neena & I'm her mom; if I'm gonna let anyone spoil her a little, I should be at the top of the list! And #2 I feel freedom to spoil them b/c with a sibling, neither child gets to feel like they're the center of the universe; only-child syndrome is not a possibility!)
...Being pregnant only made that tougher, too! This is something I have renewed vision for & am going to allot more time for during the day. Her favorite things to play right now are:
**Being a waitress at McDonalds, taking orders & bringing food
**Playing with her pet shop pets, Cinderella action figures, Nativity people, and blocks. They all join in together & we make rooms for them with the blocks :) Super fun.
**She loves barbies & her barbie house.
**She pretends to be "Kayla" & I'm "Christina" & she comes to paint my house. I have to call her & ask her to come over to work. She has a husband, John (used to be Gary), that she talks about who also works at Revolution with my husband, Chad. :) Very cute. She also uses a silly accent!
**She plays Chad's mandolin. She puts the strap around her neck & can strum pretty well! She looks like she's playing bass for a rocker band b/c of how low it hangs down, lol. She & Chad play together & have concerts for us! :) One of these days, I will get a video for you...
**She plays with her monkey that Amber got her from Build-a-Bear. It's name is Lollipop & it's her sister. NOT her baby. Lollipop goes EVERYWHERE with us. It's especially great at the mall; I let her bring her toy stroller & push her around. It is the answer to keeping her near me; without something to occupy her, she's all OVER the place!
~~
She is quick to make mistakes & messes but even quicker to apologize. Most of the time. She has enough independence to feel like she should be able to make her own decisions. It's tough for both of us but I've realized lately I need to let her make more decisions & praise her a lot for when she makes the right ones. She is a good girl & she's got heart. (She's got a lot of spunk & drama, too, though!)
~~
After she left yesterday, I called Mom to ask them to call me if they stopped to eat so I could have a new ETA. They'd only been gone a few minutes & Neena wanted to talk to me. :) I needed that.
Well...Chad is at work for the entire day, so it's just me & Isaac! It's so quiet! I'm not quite sure what to do with myself :) I'll find a chance to steal Chad's computer & share some pics soon. I think I'm going to try to get a few things done...Or go snuggle this baby boy :)
1 comment:
Congrats on your new little one! Lindsey J. and I were talking today and I was sharing some issues I am going through with my son turning one. She encouraged me and told me how you were feeling the same way. I could not resist clicking your link from her blog to check in on you. I know our situations are different but you will be in my prayers! I look forward to checking back for more updates.
- Jennifer Holcombe Bennett
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