Happy Valentine's Day

Today is one of those days; actually, I've had a few of them lately. I think hoping for Isaac to come any day has pushed me into a sentimental mood--both anticipating his arrival and letting go of him. (Although it will only be from my womb to my arms.) And I complain a lot about the pain of pregnancy but it's only half-true. Yes, it is painful & I can't WAIT to deliver him, see, & hold him...I also relish every moment--especially the moments of him wiggling around like crazy, but also the moments of lugging my belly around & not finding ANYTHING that fits right.

Things have been pretty hectic around our house lately. From Chad's new ministry position to fitting the new position around his "day job" or vice versa to trying to get the nursery ready, added on top of my house-work-challenged self and the emotions of pregnancy magnifying all the changes...I feel like I've been in a whirlwind. But God has been faithful. We are so excited about all the changes but moreso to get to a place when they're not "new" and we can feel settled with everything. I hope those thoughts aren't keeping me from living in the moment. I constantly feel in a state of "trying to catch up" and that is just a part of who I am, I fear. I pray about it a LOT & am always trying new methods to "get ahead" but I still feel behind.

Maybe I'll take a minute to be thankful for the things I'm NOT behind on to remind me God's still working on me & I'm still responding:

1. I am super thankful Isaac's room is finished.I am not behind on my Beth Moore Bible study (b/c I did 1 1/2 this morning...but still).
2. Isaac & Neena are packed for when labor comes.
3. The bathroom supplies & a few things are packed for me & Chad & I have a list for the rest ready to check-off. (Harder to pack for us b/c we use all our clothes we'd want to pack.)
4. Kitchen is stocked with frozen meals & lots of groceries.
5. Still mopping & changing the sheets weekly on their "day" to be done & keeping the bathrooms pretty orderly!
   

So it's only 5 things right now but those are still significant to me ;) And I am also thankful for the love I feel for my husband. Happy Valentine's, Honey. All these changes have really put a lot of pressure on us & it's definitely not been easy. It's a choice to love him and also for him to love me when we might not like each other so much at times. I'm not saying anything he wouldn't agree with; don't think I'm trying to put all the blame on him! I am trying to learn to pick priorities really carefully and to serve him before me or the rest of my family but sometimes I forget that just because I think through doing something for him doesn't mean it's going to be received if I don't say it in the right language. That's a little vague but that's what's going on in my mind these days. So many times he's come home from work & I feel like I've done so much for him b/c of the things I've cleaned in the house & he doesn't notice it. And at the same time, he's been at work, feeling like he's loving me by working & he comes home & all I recognize is that he's left me alone to deal with the frustrations of being a mom.

Well, I'm going to try to change that! I'm going to try to recognize the things he's doing to communicate how much he loves me & try to do things that he can recognize as me loving on him. Not totally sure how to do that. But we're going through a series at church, "Bringing Sexy Back" that is so timely for our household and the 1st week was just awesome. (You can get to the podcast from therevolution.tv I recommend it!) I am praying that Chad & I both receive the message. (And it doesn't hurt that Chad has to hear it in 3 separate services, on top of pre-reading and critiquing it!! LOL!!)

And in addition to all of those things, I think I'm starting to realize the importance of embracing and enjoying the small things. A lot of people I know have really mastered that art & whereas I am quite aware of details in some areas, there are a lot of things that I just see the whole picture. Like clothes. I am in awe of girls that put an outfit together and all the details work, from jewelry to shoes to handbag to hair. Me? I have some "pieces" I like--shirts & pants--and then the basic needed shoes and thank God for my mom & all the jewelry (clothes, too, but esp. jewelry) she's given me or I'd be OUT on that catagory, too. But I enjoy looking at people who detail putting it all together. I hope one day to do a little more of that (and not feel guilty spending the money & time to do it but that's another issue entirely.)

My sweet Neena Michelle is such an instrument in reminding me about that. The poor thing is getting on my every last nerve this week b/c I just want some peace & quiet...and the girl doesn't have "quiet" in her vocabulary. Most of her time is spent singing made up songs or Christmas carols at the top of her lungs. But if I get onto her for it and then see that sweet face, I think, One day she's not going to sing like that & you're going to miss it terribly & long to have it again!!! and I am immediately apologizing for not loving her up--even things that may drive me crazy. The other day she came back to the bedroom with the full trash bag from the kitchen. She noticed it was full & was trying to help by taking it out. She is a sweet, loving little angel!!

Hopefully by next post I'll be sharing the delivery story!! Say a prayer for us :) God is so good! And He hears our prayers :)